It's a Wacked Up Night After All
by WanderndenGeist
Summary: I think you can kind of guess... THE TITLE SAYS IT ALL!
1. Shortest Prologue EVER

Fang's POV

I'm in the hospital. Yes, _again_.

I'm bloody beyond belief, have stitches in my forehead, and a cracked rib. Wonder who gave me all these wounds? Yup, you guessed it.

Max. I'll tell you how this all happened in a (insert dramatic pause) flashback. (Fang looks up into a random corner and his eyes go big)

(While Fang is looking stupid and is oblivious to the world a nurse walks in. She took one look at Fang then walked out.)

"Of course I'm the one who ends up with the wack-job. I should have taken that job offer at Burger King," the nurse grumbled.


	2. The Great, Old, Wise, Wrinkly One

Fang's POV

Iggy and I just got back from a sick party! Literally, there were people puking all over the place. Some people just don't know when to stop drinking. All though I think that Margarita is coming back to haunt me.

We're walking back home because things started to get a little bit out of hand. Apparently some strippers were invited and wanted to do a "show" for everyone. I wanted to stay 100% but of course Iggy had to practically drag me out of there. He wouldn't have seen anything anyway! He's f-ing blind! I guess he wanted to keep me in check.

Man, was I pissed. Hell, I still am! Iggy always has to ruin everything. I'll get him back later.

We were almost home when we get lost. I swear, never listen to a blind guy when it comes to directions.

We end up in a alley. And yes, it was one of those dark, creepy ones that you see in horror movies. I thought the Scream was going to come jump me. I swear, I saw a bat fly by us when we entered the alley too. We're screwed.

When we got to the end of the alley I started yelling at Iggy for being a dumb-ass because he led us into a alley and yelled at him for being a party pooper (read the second paragraph if you're confused about the party pooper part).

When I turn around to get out of the alley and as far away from the dumb-ass/party pooper (a.k.a. Iggy) as possible I saw two blurry figures that looked like they were holding light-sabers. All of a sudden I'm whooshed onto a spaceship.

Where Iggy used to be Luke Skywalker has taken his place and I'm wearing a dress. WAIT A DRESS! A SPACESHIP! LUKE SKYWALKER! A DRESS?

I look down and sure enough I'm wearing a goddamn dress.

"It's not 'a goddamn dress,'" Luke Skywalker said. "It's a robe."

Oh.

In front of me I see Yoda and a Police Officer. All of a sudden the police officer starts jiggling like crazy and splits down the middle. That wasn't a pretty sight let me tell you.

One half of the Police Officer turns into Spiffy and the other turns into Pooky.

Not them _again_…

So let me re-cap. I have a light-saber (a freaking awesome one if I do say so myself) and wearing a robe that looks suspiciously like a dress. Luke Skywalker is standing next to me (he has a light-saber), Yoda is standing in front of me (he has a light-saber also), Spiffy is standing in front me too (he has a light-saber, why are there so many light-sabers?) and Pooky is also in front of me (he has a banana- wait, A BANANA?).

"We're baaaaaaaaaaaaack!" Spiffy and Pooky say simultaneously. They both have mischevious looks on their faces.

Oh, great. Anyone want to bet I'm going to get it?

"Spiffy, Pooky?" Yoda rasps.

"Yes, old, great, wise, wrinkly one?" Spiffy and Pooky answer.

"Stick him."

Shit.

Spiffy and Pooky run at me like a pair of rabid bunnies.

Turns out Spiffy's light-saber was just plastic, so none of my limbs were severed. Thank the god of un-severed limbs!

Pooky, however, is deadly with a banana. I swear, if you sent him to assassin somebody and all you gave him was a banana, he could do it in three seconds flat. He was beating the freaking hell out of me!

Pooky and Spiffy then disappeared without warning and Luke Skywalker came over and started shaking my shoulders. Violently.

I blacked out then woke up with _Iggy _shaking my shoulders. Violently.

"Will knock that the hell off!" I screamed.

"Sorry, man," Iggy, irritably calm, replied.

Now my head hurt like hell, times two. "What happened?" I asked.

"Oh, some cops came with flashlights and they kind of freaked me out. I might have accidentally hit you in the head. Hehe." Iggy smiled innocently.

I gave Iggy a murderous glance.

"I'm giving you a murderous glance Iggy. How did you know they where cops anyway? Last time I checked, you're blind," I asked.

"When they ran up they said 'FREEZE! We're slightly dangerous cops with flashlights that lots of people mistake for light-sabers!'" Iggy told me.

"So that explains my Star Wars moment," I grumble.

"What?" Iggy asked.

"Uh, never mind!" I said, maybe too quickly. No way was I telling him about _that_. "Where are we anyway?"

"I distracted the cops then ran away dragging you behind me," Iggy said, then smiled.

I kicked him.

"Ow!" Iggy yelled.

"There you are!" two voices yelled.

"Who the hell is that?" I asked.

"The cops!" Iggy exclaimed.

"Up and away, Ig!" I shouted.

I got exactly 10 feet off the ground before feeling dizzy, nauseous and falling flat on my face.

Then I started puking my guts out. And the margarita.

Never drink and fly kids.

"Shit, Fang!" Iggy yelled. "I told you to stop drinking that stuff!"

"Shut up, Iggy!" I yelled back.

Another wave of puke came up.

"Hold it right there, felons!" the cops said.

Iggy froze while I continued vomiting.

"Are you sure those flashlights aren't light-sabers?" Iggy asked.

"I'm positive!" the first cop yelled at Iggy. The first cop was skinny and had dark brown hair that was buzz-cut. Clearly he also had anger management problems.

"Ok. Just checking," Iggy replied.

"Now both of you stay still while we hand cuff you," the second cop said. He had red hair (that was a little bit long for a guy if you ask me) and was slightly chubby.

The first cop hand cuffed Iggy and the second one hand cuffed me.

"Uh, officers? What did we do exactly?" I asked.

"You guys robbed a bank! Do you have short-term-memory-loss or something?" the second cop asked me.

"Uh, no? Look we didn't rob a damn bank. You guys have the wrong people," I told the cop.

"Save it for the judge pal!" the cop second cop yelled at me.

Oh, great.

Iggy and I are totally screwed.


	3. The Meca Police Station Bathroom

**Max's POV**

I am so, so, so, so, **SO** ticked off with Fang at the moment, it wasn't even funny. The local police station just called saying he had two juvenile delinquents being charged with Bank Robbery and Under Age Drinking. Oh Joy

"Mom," I called down the hall, "we need to go to the Police Station. It's Fang and Iggy."

"What?" she replied, bewildered. "Why?" She came down the hallway in a scurry, fumbling with the house keys as she exchanged them the car keys from the magical depths that was her purse. "Tell you on our way there." I sighed and led my way to my mom's new SUV.

We had to get rid of her old Sudan because the whole Flock couldn't fit in there at once; Fang and I had to fly everywhere, watching my mom's car turn into a speck.

**Fang's POV**

"Damn that last Margarita!" I cursed. Too bad no one had informed me alcohol goes straight through your system. I had to go bad, but I was worried they would test it for drugs or something, and with us (Ig and I) being Avian-Americans, that might not go down to well, being science experiments and all.

"Uh, sir?" Iggy said cautiously, "Do-Do you have a toilet here, sir?"

I guess he had the extra sir to gain some sympathy points.

Whew, glad I wasn't the only one. "Me too sir," I pleaded, "I, uh, I have to go too." I stared at the toe of my shoe.

"Come with me," He grumbled. He walked down the hallway, trotting as slow as a snail, whistling a show tune and twirling his baton. Finally, he stopped, turned to a door, and pushed it open slightly with his weapon of choice and nodded to it. It smelled slightly of antiseptic wipes and Alcohol.

_You can do this Fang, _I told myself, _you can do this. Pretend, uh, pretend a naked Max is in there! _Gulp. Not my best pep talk, but in my drunken state, a pep talk like that would work to get me to brutally torture Iggy with Tie-Dye.

I began to awkwardly open the door with my shoulder and saw the mess that was the Mesa Police Station facilities. Mold, dirt, grime, even flies buzzing around. The best two parts where the fact that their where NO stalls (even if Iggy was blind), and that above every toilet and urinal, there was a steady drip of fluid from the ceiling, and I was 99% sure it wasn't water.

Something began to tug up my hand cuffs, so I spun around on a dime, (literally) and stared ahead at my attacker. Turns out, it was just the police man on duty trying to unlock them so I could successfully use the bathroom without any help.

I turned back around so I could have my cuffs removed and rolled my eyes slightly.

"You forgot the blind guy." Said Iggy as he looked in my direction as I began to barge my way through the bathroom.

I sighed as I held the door open and led him to an empty urinal in the corner.


	4. The Max Moment

**Max POV**

I'm so, so, so, so pissed at Fang. And Iggy. Did I already say I was pissed? Or ticked off? Or so mad that my head was going explode? If I did I'm saying it again.

My mom and I pulled into the Police Station. I tucked in my wings so tight it hurt. The last thing we needed was the cops freaking out over a bird kid.

As we walked in I saw a pretty pissed off police officer watching over Fang and Iggy. What's got his panties in a bunch?

"Took you two long enough," the police officer grumbled. "These guys," he pointed Fang and Iggy "have done nothing but complain that they have to use the bathroom."

"We only asked once!" Iggy whined.

"Can it, blind guy," the police officer said.

Iggy sunk in his chair and pouted. Fang was starting to take an interest in his shoes.

"They have been charged with underage drinking , robbing a bank, resisting arrest and flying without a license," the police officer listed.

"We already told you we didn't rob a freaking bank!" Fang shouted.

The police officer wacked him in the head with his baton. I tried to hide my laugh but failed. I think I ended up snorting. Fang gave me a murderous glance.

My mom sighed and asked "how much is the bail?"

"2,500 dollars," the police officer said. "Each."

My mom opened her purse and started o dig through it. I swear you could fit anything in that bottomless pit.

"Just put it on my card, Officer," she mumbled.

He took the card, swiped it in the credit card thingy, and gave the credit card back to my mom.

"Let's go boys," she said.

The officer unlocked Fang and Iggy's handcuffs. They bolted out the door and into the car.

They are so going to get it when we get home. Especially Fang. Man, I'm going kill him.

The drive home was in complete silence. My mom pulled into the driveway but didn't unlock the car so we could get out.

"Boys, you're grounded. _Forever_," she said.

She unlocked the car and we got out. Fang went up to his room and Iggy flopped on the couch.

"Max, can u get me a cheese stick?" Iggy asked.

"Sure, Ig," I replied. I'm going to be nice to Iggy so I can be extra menacing to Fang. I tossed him his cheese stick.

"Ig, if you hear Fang calling for help, don't come hear what happened to him. Very disturbing sounds."

"Gotcha, Max," Iggy said. He turned on the TV to Animal Planet and ten turned the volume up full blast.

I walked up o Fang's room. When I walked in Fang was asleep. Yeah, right.

"FANG!" I yelled. I shoved him off his bed, blankets and all, then punched him for good measure.

"What the hell was that for!" he yelled back.

"UNDERAGE DRINKING, ROBBING A BANK, RESISTING ARREST, FLYING WITHOUT A LICENCSE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO TO THAT PARTY FANG! WHAT ELSE HAPPENED THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT, HUH?" I screamed at him.

Fang stared at me wide-eyed. "uh, uh, uh, uh, lsudfhsiudhsdf," he mumbled.

I slapped him. "what was that Fang?" I asked.

"Some strippers came to the party, ok! I wanted to stay but Iggy had to drag me out!" he yelled at me.

Ok that did it.

All hell broke loose. I started t kick Fang's ass (literally and figuratively).

"IGGY, HELP ME!" Fang yelled.

**Iggy's POV**

I was listening to animal planet downstairs. They were talking about poisonous snakes.

Even with the volume up all the way, I started to hear really loud thumping noises and yelling coming from the direction of Fang's room. Man, Max was really pissed at him.

"IGGY, HELP ME!" said a muffled voice.

I guess that was Fang. Since I didn't want to be disturbed by his whimpering and whining noises I stayed downstairs. Plus I also told Max I would stay down here.

I heard some footsteps come up from behind me.

"Iggy, what is that?" I heard Angel ask. Wait ANGEL?

"Angel I thought you were supposed to be in another FanFiction story right now," I said.

"Oh, yeah," Angel mumbled.

I heard a _**POOF**_ after that. I guess she got teleported back by to her story the FanFiction fairies.

"_And the King Cobra can spit a venom that can blind their attackers," _the Animal Planet Narrator said.

I went back to listening to the TV.

**Fang's POV**

I hurt like hell all over. And Max still wasn't done kicking my ass. Why didn't I fight back? Because I was still too drunk to throw a punch.

Please let Iggy come or get Max to stop beating the hell out of me, I prayed to some god/goddess out there.

**Max POV**

I was enjoying Fang's wails of agony. They were like music to my ears.

I was really pissed at Fang. UGH! Strippers, I mean, come on! What was he thinking!

I was throwing punches left and right as hard as I could. I stopped momentarily trying to find something to whack Fang with. A long stick or baseball bat would do.

I found a stick-like object and started to hit Fang with it.

"Max, please stop…" Fang mumbled.

I dropped my stick-like object and left. As much fun as torturing Fang was, I didn't want to kill him… Or did I?

I guess I'll sleep on it.

**Angels POV**

I'm riding a pink pony in a green meadow that has fairies and pretty flowers. What the heck am I doing here?


End file.
